Somebody's got your goat

From www.news.com.au:

Man forced to marry goat
From: From correspondents in Malakal, Sudan
February 27, 2006

A MAN caught "in flagrante delicto" with a goat has been forced to marry the animal.

According to the local newspaper, The Juba Post, the goat's owner, a Mr Alifi, caught his neighbour, Mr Tombe, assaulting his goat and reported the man to the local council of elders for adjudication.
"It was around midnight when Tombe came to do his nonsense on my goat, and I was already in bed inside my house," Mr Alifi said.

"Suddenly I heard the goat make a loud noise. Immediately I rushed outside to find Mr Tombe was naked and engaged in a relationship with my goat. " When I asked him what are you doing there, he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up. They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife."

Mr Tombe agreed to pay a dowry of 150,000 Sudanese dinars ($125) for his new spouse.


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"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi told the Post.

Good Luck? I don't fink so

So I got poo'd on by a bird on Friday evening. Not the best thing that can happen to you at Fed Sq. Lucky for me, we have an office nearby where I could get changed.

Things that happened on the weekend that were Good Luck:
- Great party at a friend's at Southbank on Friday night - great cocktails
- It didn't rain all day in geelong on Saturday
- My car didn't overheat

Bad Luck:
- no parking for performers at the festival
- batteries going dead on my camera
- my video camera broken
- Running late to perform so cutting it all short

All in all when it comes to good luck and bad luck and birds poo-ing on you - all that it means, is that you've gotta wash your shirt.

Peace out Chomps

The Machines Are Evil

Despite the fact that they put up signs everywhere around the pokies at Crown that say:
"Touching the machines in special ways does not heighten your chances of winning" and
"Playing that one more time, does not mean you will win"

There are still thousands of people feeding their dollar coins, notes and cards into these evil machines which tell you "You've hit the big time" - despite the fact that you've only won $0.20cents........................

They need a new sign that says:

"The only person who wins at the casino, is the owner"

None the less - to the cleaning lady who told me not to take this picture I say: GEISHA!

How do you know we aren't going to the ferry?

So the Port Authority at Station pier wanna keep us out of Campari car parks?
Well I say Tuborg to them, Tuborg - The houses of the West are hospitable.

On another note (G Sharp):

to all the petrolheads who stole all the carparks at Crown on Sunday to park for the Motorshow I say "Shame, Shame Shame" -

Why didn't you ride your eco-friendly sustainable living (www.slf.org.au) slapband bikes to the city and leave space for those of us who drive overheating, 20 year old geminis to park.

On another note (B Flat):

Hospitality abounds in Southbank and the Western Suburbs: To my friends in Southbank, Altona and Williamstown I say you rock, because you are very hospitable and have great houses/apartments.

And the final word:

COOL: Tutoring French and interviews on SBS radio.

TOOL: Do I even have to say it? - cos those who know this person, know this person....

Until next time, take care of yourselves....and each other.

Hide And Seek

Now I've heard of guys hiding in washing machines, but this is taking it a bit too far....

News.com.au said:
A YOUTH who tied himself to a foldaway bed because he was bored was rescued by police after becoming trapped in its mechanism, officials said.Neighbors alerted the police in the western German town of Schwelm after hearing the 16-year-old's cries for help.

more: http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,18165875-13762,00.html

What did you put in it?

Is it just me or do city cafes charge too much for sandwiches? also read focaccias, bruschetta and everything in between (wraps, pita, turkish and lebanese bread [is there even a difference?], baguettes........)

What did you put in it guys to make it so damn expensive?

And what's with serving bruschetta as a serve of antipasto and two pieces of bread - if I wanted to make it myself I wouldn't be paying YOU $9.90 for the pleasure............

Wise up, and if you are wise get down to B's in Centre Place, melbourne for $3.50 baguettes.

And straight after say hi to the lonely Security Guard at the corner of centre way and Collins Street - you'll fill your stomach and your quota for nicetys in one go.

Go forth and action panch!

More signage please

So do you think that it's part of the fitness plan for us once a month gym go-ers that they made the fitness first at melbourne central so damn hard to find?
After asking 3 people we finally found our way to some hidden lifts.
Anyone would think that we paid $60 a month to visit an adult book store they hid the entrance so bad.
On another note - the sun is shining, the koalas are drinking and the possum skin cloaks are hanging on the coat rack.

peace out playa

Am I tom?

Cabin Crew - Cross Check and Report.

The recipe for a great weekend:

1 x 8 seater tarago
1 x 3 bedroom Awesome Beach House
2 x AirMauritius Flight Attendants
A handful of funny friends
1 x Sunny weather
1 x Guess Who board game
A truckload of stupid jokes

Am I Tom??